Venezuelan Beaver Cheese is made 100% of beaver cheese (plus 50% goat cheese, 67% vinegar, 7% cat milk, 76% Moon and 23% magic), curdled and washed by Brazilian blind nuns, and put in to age for nearly 650 years.
The cheese is yummy, tasty, and it doesn't have that whole crap of holes, bleedin' Switzers - who wants to eat a bloody cheese with holes anyway? Half of the cheese isn't even there! Like those bleedin' Quesos Palmitas, all salty. Rubbish.
Our cheese is known to entertain mice, selenographers, Python fans all over the world and Hugo Chávez (¿Porqué nó te callas y comes un queso?) without warning. Scientists predict that if a World War III is to come, it will be because of the lack of water - or because of the Venezuelan Beaver Cheese (one of the two). Which is extremely preocupant.
So enjoy your cheese for now, kids, and remember...
THE BEAVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!